// Life is Perfect? \\ - Kickflare

[Flame]

Usually the small blonde loved spring, expecially late spring when the air was warming up and everything was going towards summer, but this time no. She was constantly being dogged by… well.. everyone. Either a rider, another weyrling, or a candidate was following her around. In fact at that moment, she had a candidate with her in the common area. Xilan. He was a young man, seventeen, and a healer. Journyman even. Though he’d explained that he’d been healing for a long time, and she’d met his entire family. His sister was interesting, though bratty, and his parents, (two father’s, which she thought was very cool), were very polite. So he wasn’t bad, but still, she was bored. Mine, calm down, as soon as one of us fly’s this will end. We swear. said Dianath to her rider. Outside the building in the warm sun, sat the two golds. One’s hide was covered in many golds, and she sparkled. The other was a solid gold and quite relaxed. Her gray eyes watching all.

Lokin sighed. You don’t have to be watched. Your big enough to get ride of Galeth by yourself. And between you and Athenath you could probably kill him. she shot back. She was sitting on one of the couches, lounging back. Deeply relaxed as she chatted with her dragons. The young healer was sitting about 15 feet away from her playing with about five children, laughing. Be nice. And you could take him if he didn’t keep jumping you. A fair fight and he’d go down. You may be small, but he’s always been a weyrling, he’s never had to travel the land when renagades and bandits are around. So relax Mine. Next time you’ll be the one to win. Lokin’s hand reached out to touch the bruse on her cheek. Stupid D’mar. The young woman wondered a bit about the twins. One was firey, and lets go do it now, don’t stop to think. The other was… well wise, relaxed, and calm. Dianath was a hunter, always on the move, even now she was watching the firelizards. Athenath was much calmer, and more in control. Though personally Lokin thought the smaller of the twins was the more dangerous.

[Flame]

Lokin was jolted out of her talk with the twins by another voice. She blinked and looked over. ”Bronzrider. It’s Junior Weyrwoman.” she said. She was not yet higher than any one yet. Still a weyrling, still under everyone’s orders. So being called Weyrwoman bothered her. She wasn’t sure why. She watched V’riy. That’s who he was. Xilan glanced over at that moment and started to get up. She half glared at him, which sat him back down. Thank god. She didn’t know if she could deal with the bouncy boy’s actions right then. Expecially when both twins turned their attentions to the bronze.

Morith. Good day. Galeth has left us alone. At least for now. Dianath snorted, half noting her sister’s odd arching of the neck, as if she was trying to show off to the bigger bronze, (they were still ‘small’ though in their clutch, only their sister Harpeth was bigger than them). That’s only because he knows we could hurt him badly. I told him as such last time. said the bigger gold, her arrogance palpable. Her odd human green eyes seemed to show hautyness. Which got her a nip on the rump from Athenath. Be nice Dianath! Morith is not like Galeth or His D’mar. He’s much nicer. snapped the smaller gold. Dianath growled, but it was playful. Fine. I’ll be nice. But only for a little white

[Flame]

Lokin saw the look, but it was gone before she could identify it. She frowned at his voice. He sounded angry, hostile. Which she didn’t like, but beyond the frown nothing else showed, and even that faded away when he handed her a compress. She took it with a quick thank you and put it on her cheek, closing her green eyes for a second as some of the pain was gone. She hadn’t noticed that it had HURT that much, but apparently it did. ”True, but if there was an actually weyrwoman, I doubt she’d like me being called JUST weyrwoman.” she said finally. She was obviously not up to her best. She was still worrying about D’mar. Athenath was correct that she could probably get rid of him if he made an advance against her, but Lokin didn’t LIKE hurting people. She was a harper not a warrior.

Dianath nodded. He should. He’s cruel. I didn’t realize Bronzes COULD be like that. Dianath said hautily again. Athenath growled, but didn’t respond to much else. He will learn his place. was all the smaller gold said. The larger gold preened at te bronze calling her much more than Galeth, though she already knew that. Athenath chuckled softly, both physically and in his mind. Yes, but Dianath needs to learn control. After all her rider can keep her eagerness under wraps. Why can’t she?

[Flame]

Lokin took a deep breath. Calm down. Now, Lokin. She ordered herself. She was a great deal more emotional than V’riy, or many other riders, mainly because of her lost dragon. Barkth had told her to stop hiding her thoughts and to TELL people what she thought. Though much that green dragon had told her hadn’t stuck, that had. And though she did have control over it, she was highly emotional. She felt both golds touch her mind and sooth away the slight pain from the memory of Barkth, and thankfully none of that showed. ”In my mind it does.” she snapped at him. Of course it mattered. She wasn’t yet a full Weyrwoman, and she didn’t believe she’d be ready for it for a long time. She had enough trouble trying to keep Dianath from attacking Galeth, none the less keeping a weyr under control! That was part of her problem, she was used to being a green rider, or a harper, someone who’s got power, but mainly sits in the back and watches. ”That depends on if Galeth catches Athenath or Dianath, because if he does, then D’mar will still be leading, and I’ll have no hand in what happens. Really it’s the golds who have the power there, not me.” she glared at him now, turning her eyes back away from him, and towards Xilan who was slightly distressed, she could see. The poor boy had no idea what he was doing. He was just a healer after all. And young. But then he turned away as one of the children caught his attention. He was only seventeen after all, and easily distracted, which she was thankful for. His last comment about the numbweed did make her smile just a little though. ”But then we’d have to take him to the healers. Which wouldn’t be fun.” she said.

She looked down at her hands. ”That is something I do not fully agree with.” she murmured. She was a kind hearted person. While she could snap at someone, or lash out, in the end she hated hurting people. Probably why she’d never get higher than a journyman harper, though she did have a thing for telling and knowing the truth, or information. She was tactful, keeping her thoughts to herself, most of the time, but having to lie was not easy for her (which made her parents quite happy when she was little: ‘who ate the cookies?’ “sorry momma, I did”) She hated having to cut off the leg to save the person, though she knew the reasoning behind it. She’d try every way possible to save the leg and the person before she had to make that choice. In the back of her mind she thought that her dragon’s did reflect their riders. Athenath was the calm one, who in a pinch could do something drastic, but didn’t often. Dianath was the wild one who acted out for the slightest refractions and was a great deal more cruel, compared to Athenath. His deep gravely voice caught her attention as he yet again spoke. She tilted her head to the right slightly as she watched him, thinking. What exactly did he mean by that? What did he want? Or did he truly just want to help, was that the only motive? (She personally didn’t believe that but she could be suspsious when need be.) ”Thank you… I’ll think about it.” she answered after a moment now fully guarded, nothing showing. THAT was something she could do. Hid those wild emotions as soon as they happened. She’d learned quickly after her green had died, to hid what she was truly feeling until she was alone. Let people think she was happy.

Both golds grunted. Exactly. Stupid Galeth. I told you that you were being to nice on him Athenath! the big gold told her twin. Who rolled her gray eyes, and then itnored the multi-facited gold. True, Morith, true, but she will get herself hurt if she keeps on this way, and I’d rather Mine didn’t have to deal with a damaged Gold. said the wiser gold. She cared deeply for the small woman, and knew that she was extreamly insecure about being a Goldrider, about having the power to lead, which was why she had TWO dragons, so that if one failed the other could come through, at least that was how Athenath saw it as. Because her sister the hunter could pull through when need be.

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[Flame]

Lokin watched him carefully. She really did not understand or know him. He was an enigma, which made him intriguing, though at this point she refused to let herself realize that. She was bull headed sometimes. He green eyes were guarded, as if she was, ether not feeling (so not true), or hiding her feelings (Correct), though it would be hard to tell. She had pulled her legs up under her and was turned slightly towards him, but not much.

She sighed. ”Maybe.” Even if Athenath (The one that Lokin was sure was going to rise first), rose now, Dianath would have to be in the air as well to cause Galeth problems. Lokin reached out quickly to touch the twins, Who were busy giggling with each other over the hansom bronze, though she doubted the bronze realized that. Lokin sure didn’t feel powerful, she felt small and scared, though she refused to tell THAT to him. ”Infuriating?” she asked, this time undaunted by the growl. It was like dealing with an angry canine, which she wasn’t afraid of. They were big, and scary, and all they wanted was food and lovin’s, at least in her experience. She watched him still a bit unnerved, but she had a feeling that’s what he wanted, and so again she didn’t show it.

Lokin nodded. ”I have no doubt they would.” she said softly, thinking of that. It was true. D’mar had caused the Healers plenty of trouble, but the MasterHealer in Northern refused to let anyone go with out a healer. Actually the Harper and Healer halls in the north were the most advanced technologically, and thinking wise. Which was where Lokin was from, the Harper Hall. So she knew both sides… She realized she was mentally rambling and forced herself to watch V’riy. What exactly did he want? She was frustraited because she could not understand him. She was usually good with understanding people, though as of late she’d been caught of guard, mainly because she was floundering. Not that it was overly noticeable, but she noticed.

She caught sight of something odd in his eyes. Excitement maybe? She didn’t know. Then he was speaking again. ”Easer said than done.” she snapped at him again, turning away to watch the children and Xilan, anger finally showing in the stiffness of her posture. She’d had enough of him, she really had. Though she doubted he would take the hint and leave.

The two golds watched him. One set of green eyes and one set of gray amused. I eat Wherrys. Does that mean I get to eat him? asked the gold innocently, gaining another glare from the gray eyed dragon. She was insane, thought Athenath. True. Though If she wants to survive the night at THIS rate, she’d better shut up. she growled glaring at her sister. Who was acting as if she had no idea her sister was glaring at her, and watching another bronze high above come in. Athenath, stood up and looked over the edge towards the herdbeasts. I want that one. she said showing a picture of one of the largest of the herd beasts. It was a large bull, and would take some doing. She was obviously testing the bronze.

[Flame]

Lokin again glared at him, he was not getting the point, and he was getting on her nerves. But she truly didn’t have the nerve to tell him off. He was to formitable. It was probable that if he was anyone else she would have told him to leave her alone. But not him. She refused to admit that she felt safer around him, than around most of the other dragon rider’s around though Athenath would probably call her on that later.

”Oh really? And what If I don’t feel like I can do as you say?” she growled back at him, before looking away over the big room, not wanting to admit to herself that he could be right. That he was. He spoke yet again and she gave an exasperaited sigh as she looked back at him. ”And what if I don’t want to? Hm? What the hell are you going to do about it?” He was getting under her skin. She closed her eyes forcing herself to calm down. She squawked as he pushed her legs out from under her. She snapped them back u under her, with a growl. ”Go away.” she hissed, before glaring down at her lap. She was extreamly upset now, and he wasn’t helping. ”As if I asked to speak to you.” she snapped, and closed her eyes, as she started to take deep breaths, forcing back frustrated tears. What he had taken for weakness, was her emotions, her fear, loneliness, and uncertainty, that maybe her golds had chosen wrong.

Outside Athenath laughed as the bull was dropped at her feet. It is unwise to take on challenges that are above your ability. It can get you killed. she said as she looked over the meat. Dianath didn’t care and gorged herself, ripping at the throught. Athenath then ripped at the belly eating quickly. Oh don’t be so noble. You caught him, come eat him. she said, lifting her head up, her bottom jaw bloody.

[Flame]

She was greatful when he left, she could at least try to keep the tears from spilling over. Not something new to her. She was quite used to having to keep her tears back. And she managed ti before he returned. She glared at him, but it was halfhearted. ”I don’t feel babied and I can’t handle D’mar on my own.” she snapped, taking the klah, but not drinking it. She didn’t often drink Klah… It made her too hyper sometimes, and she was more prone to tell everyone everything she knew, which annoyed others.

She turned away from him. ”Why should I care about what you think? Or ‘know’.” she asked this time a great deal calmer. No more rising to the bait. He was being rude and she didn’t have to pay attention to him. She kept her eyes on the children and familys that Xilan was playing with. For a healer he was quite soft and squishy. She wondered if his dragon would be as well. Or would the dragon show that there was another side to the squishy softy that was Xilan. She was angry, and his anger didn’t help keep it at bay, but she didn’t have Harper training for nothing. She was proud of being a harper and she would do her best to keep that training with her… even if she was wallowing in self pity.

The gold dragons sighed. Suit yourself. she grumbled as she lowered her head to eat. Dianath didn’t even care. She was just hungry. It wasn’t long before she was done, and backed off, her entire head covered in bits of the bull. Athenath finished soon after her sister, though a great deal cleaner. Sister you are going to force Ours to give you a bath. Again. Said the gray eyed gold. The bigger gold snorted. It was good. was her ownly answer. Athenath sighed, and then moved back away from the carcass (or what was left of it). She wasn’t all that large yet, and so between the two golds they had eaten some of it, but about a quarter was left over. Your turn Morith.

[Flame]

Lokin didn’t respond, though for a second the anger at him showed, then it was gone, hidden behind the mask of indifference she had learned so well. She watched him go, feeling relief, and… oddly enough, anger. How dare he tell her she was feeling sorry for herself! She stood up suddenly, and started to head outside. She put the full cup of Klah in the kitchen (like she would drink Klah anyways), and moved outside, closing her eyes, thankful Xilan hadn’t followed. The young man was insufferable sometimes, but he was busy. She saw the bronze leave the two golds, and it was then that she opened herself up to them, not even realizing that she’d shielded them from the brunt of her emotions.

Up high both golds nodded. Return again Bronze. she called as he flew off. Then suddenly both dragon’s were alurt. Athenath’s gray eyes got darker, and Dianath’s green started to whirl with gray. Mine! What is wrong! What happened to you! Why do you wish to cry? cried the big gold, as she leaped off the edge of the cliff and dived for the ground. Athenath was on her tail, but she seemed more thoughtful. It’s… V’riy… I… she spilled out the story to both of them. Dianath roar, her eyes going from green to blood red. I Will kill him for daring to tell you that you are sorry for yourself. Of course your not. You are Mine after all. Athenath sighed, as she moved between her’s and her sister. What you don’t like Mine, is that he’s right. Barkth is gone. She will never return. We are here. We won’t let you fail. Stop acting as if you can’t take care of yourself. the gray eyed dragon hissed out loud, her rider, rigid wih anger. How Dare you. snapped Lokin. The gold lifted her head. No how dare you. You act ingrateful. WE chose you. No one else. He's right about everything. Though I disagree with him on the point of protection. You are stronger than you believe. You survived your first dragon's death, and had the bravery, not cowardess, to survive, and keep moving forward. Growled athenath, her gray eyes level with Her's. Stop wallowing. you are worth more than D'mar, V'riy is correct in that you diserve much better than to be his pet. Now go find the bronze rider and tell him he's right. ordered the gold dragon, her head raising up above her rider. Lokin frowned. And If I don't? Athenath stayed silent, her eyes angry, but unmoving. It was Dianath who broke the silence. He was wrong to push her though. Maybe it was the time to make her see that, but I don't think he should have been so harsh. said Dianath defiantly, but under her smaller sister's glare she lowered her head, and looked away. Fine. snapped Lokin.

Obviously no one was going to tell her SHE was right (though Dianath seemed to say that), and she wasn't going to get out of finding V'riy and saying she was sorry. She turned and headed towards the weyrs. He's in that one. said Athenath, quickly touching Morith's mind to figure out where he was, though she doubted the bronze would notice. Lokin ignored her, at least verbally, and took her own time to get up to the weyr. At the end of the hall way she stopped for a moment, closing her eyes. There is no room for pride. she told herself, forcing herself to stay calm. With that she went to his door and knocked.

[Flame]

Lokin sighed. Do I have to do this? He sounds angry. she asked Athenath. Go. Now. growled Athenath in response. Lokin sighed slipping in quietly. Before she could get out what she wanted to say Morith asked her a question. She was surprised at the warmth and… well happiness that eminaited off of the bronze. Then before she could respond Two voices were in her head and Morith’s. Why of course! came Dianath’s quick reply. But the more powerful growl of the smaller gold negated that phrase. Mine needs to stand on her own to feet. We will be going to our room. In the weyrling barracks, is what she meant. You are horrible. she snapped at Athenath, who didn’t respond, but laughed. WHY must the world conspire against her?

She took a deep breath as she was finally able to bring her attention back to where she was and away from her dragons, and Morith, who she noticed was glowing slightly. ”I wanted to say I was wrong, and that if it’s convenient I accept your offer, to help me.” though she said those words firmly, and with out emotions, she flinched at the help me, and glared down at the floor. She was angry that her pride made it so hard to say I need help, and that she was sorry (which was pretty much what she’d just done), and the fact that morally she had to.

[Flame]

She refused to look up even as he started to move. She frowned. ”It’s not something I am used to.” she said softly. She looked up when he moved closer. Unsure as to what he was going to do. Now that she wasn’t wallowing she could hear the playfulness, but it just confused her, which she didn’t like. For a second she resisted his hand mainly out of surprise. What the hell? The instant response from Dianath, and her rush of comfort told her that at least one dragon wasn’t annoyed at her. Which was a relief. Though Athenath was still being silent. Which bothered Lokin. She didn’t respond as she looked up into his brown eyes. There was no real emotion there, which scared Lokin a bit and she pulled away.

”Pride kills.” she murmured. She’d learned that the hard way. She should have known Barkth was not feeling one hundred present that day. But she was to prideful to see it and of course her loyal dragon had gone along with the excited fifteen year old, who’d wanted to try her luck in the Spring Games. His joke did bring a slight smile to her face. Though it slipped away quickly. ”Only in Fariy tails can people make wood burst into flame by just looking at it.” she answered, feeling very much out of her depth here.

Lokin looked at Morith as he spoke. Hm. You’d think he’d be nicer about it. she shot back at the big bronze. Neither gold wanted to speak as they flounced their way back into the Barracks, and settled down, chattering about who was right and who wasn’t.